Tag Archives: seduce

How to Seduce Yourself

Shared Secrets

 

senses. seduce yourself
Seduce Yourself on Valentine’s Day

Seduce yourself  – Use your senses

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Watching

Ladies, your body will deceive you. If pornography happens to offend, or even repulse you, the bitter truth is that your body will react to it involuntarily. This is within moderation, of course. If something is violent or disgusting your ethical and moral compass will reject it, but if it is just bodies on bodies doing what natural human bodies were meant to do, you will become visually stimulated. Like it or not. We are, after-all animals, and there is no greater reminder of this than the act of sex.

If you happen to be someone who is uncomfortable watching porn but still considers yourself a sexual being who is looking to spice up your intimacy without having to go all ‘Shades of Grey,’ you have come to the right place. Here, I will show you how to use your own senses to tap into your true erotic self.

Use your SENSES

 SUDUCE YOURSELF

1 – Sounds Dirty – Talk Dirty

2- Touch and Be Touched

3 – Scent – The Unassuming Sense

4 -Taste Sensual

5 -Sight – Watch Yourself

 

Touch

Seduce Yourself

Touch and be touched, seduce yourself
Touch and be touched

What is pleasing to the touch may not be pleasing to the eye.

Shared Secret, seduce yourself, use your senses
walking hanger

If you have allowed the image of the typical runway model to cloud your idea of beauty, I would like to remind you that they model clothing. They are essentially walking coat hangers.

Think about it.  Most men love to touch, caress and sometimes squish together breasts. It does not matter if they are large or small, all breasts are soft, round and fleshy. This pleasurable sensation of touch is not limited to what fills the cups of a bra, it goes for all deliciously doughy parts; the derrière, hips, upper thighs, and stomach.

Touch and be touched; seduce yourself with your senses. Touch your soft curves
Touch your curves
Where do your fingers linger most?…
…when curled up in a comfortable embrace with your partner?  
I’ll bet your fingers linger somewhere soft. Again, what is pleasing to the touch may not necessarily be pleasing to the eye. We can thank Cosmopolitan for that, but that is another blog all together.
I find myself threading my fingers through the soft patch of curls at the base of my husband’s back. Yep, he has a hairy back.
My fingers love it, my eyes – not so much.

You can use your own touch to seduce yourself.

Here’s how. If you harbour any insecurities regarding your body, they need to fall away.  You are sexy, sensual and desirable.  I can prove it.
shared Secrets, seduce yourself, use your senses
Soft and Smooth

Before a night of romance, like Valentine’s day,  shower or bathe by candle light.  Do all the things that make you feel softest, feminine and beautiful. Lather, shave, moisturise, do your make up, hair or don’t do anything.  This is about you and your seduction.

Shared Secrets, Seduce Yourself, use your senses
Touch

Then, slip on the prettiest panties set or negligee you own. While in the warm, candle lit bathroom consider how the fabric feels against your naked skin. Touch your freshly washed flesh. Feel what your partner will feel. Close your eyes if need be and fully tap into the sensation of touching and being touched. This sense is so important and your body will respond just take your time and linger.

Feel your loose hair at your neck. The curve of your shoulder. The shape of your arm. The lines of your lingerie. Outline your face with the side of your finger. Draw your thumb feather like over your mouth. Touch your fingers to your tongue.
It won’t take long before you feel like the most sensual woman alive.
Then, join your partner and prove it to yourself.
If you were tense waiting for me to suggest that you masturbate, than you need to relax and reread the last few paragraphs.  Asking you to try and be something your not is called role-playing and doesn’t work for the less adventurous.  On the other hand, if you are into that, by all means touch and play until your hearts content. In fact some shower heads work wonders.
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Seduce Yourself
Continue to the other senses…

Scent

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Scent to Seduce

seduce yourself using senses ; smell / sent
scent can seduce

 

Smell

The Unassuming Sense

Many of our memories have a smell.  

It is a powerful sense that can trigger nostalgia or even deja vu.  I once told that if I wore a certain perfume on a romantic getaway or my honeymoon than I could return to that memory easily later by just wearing that scent.  I tried this. It worked, but I have since realized that specific smells are more difficult to place than generic ones. The cotton vanilla fragrance I put on while in Punta Cana five years ago doesn’t have nearly the effect that my suntan lotion has.

familiar scents
familiar scents

Last winter, I ran out of body moisturiser and applied the after sun lotion I use in the summer. Instantly, I was taken back to a time of sun and heat. On another occasion I changed my shampoo. I had not realized that it was the brand I used when my husband and I first dated until he buried his nose in my hair and gave me ‘that look.’

Do not under estimate the power of scent.

shared secrets, seduce yourself using sense ; smell / scent
scent from past

Use it to your benefit.

While getting ready for a romantic evening perhaps dab on that perfume at the back of the shelf collecting dust. Or ditch the perfume and rub on baby oil or suntan lotion. Close your eyes and breathe in its scent. Where does your mind take you? A place? A time? If you are reminded of fun, youth and freedom you have found your scent for the night. Don’t over do it by putting on too much or by applying it too often. It will loose its effect.

shared secret; seduce yourself using senses ; smell / scent
scent of hair

When ever I smell aerosol hairspray, I am reminded of my early twenties and going out dancing. I feel like an episode of Sex in the City and I am instantly in the mood for a little fun. My husband is more than happy to hitch a ride on that little buzz of nostalgia.

What I am saying is that smell is the unassuming sense that is easily forgotten until someone is cooking fish. Then see how quickly it is able to cripple a romantic mood. If used correctly, you can enhance your own arousal by tapping into past romantic moments to create new ones.

sense of smell, scent is powerful and seductive
past scent

What did your first apartment smell like? Did you use potpourri, incense or candles? Did you use to wear baby oil, body spray or fruit scented shampoo? It is that simple.

There are smells that turn you on. Find them.

Consider the most erotic time of your life. When you feel sexy, sensual and aroused. What did it smell like?

Beware of this power. Unpleasant odors can just as easily have an adverse effect.      

 

Continue to the other senses…

Taste

The mouth is very sensual.

taste, sexy, arousal, seduce,
sexy taste
A soft tongue hides behind luscious lips and slick pearly whites. Our mouths are essential to the art of seduction and love making.  Kisses after-all are at the heart of all human affection.  
touch, taste, arousal, seduce yoursel
touch lip mouth

The simple act of brushing your thumb over your lips or touching your finger to your tongue is as erotic to feel as it is to watch. Taste is very different, it goes beyond the primitive points of pleasure.

Beyond the physical.

There are two types of taste.

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Taste Cooking

The first is the most recognized. It is why cooking can also be an art of seduction. Having exquisite flavours burst in your mouth is one of life’s most enjoyable sensations. Food, itself can be an aphrodisiac.

I want to focus on the second type; the subconsciousness of taste. Just as scent has the power to trigger nostalgia,  

Taste has the little-known power to alter mood.

taste childhood, mood, taste,
Tastes like childhood

I associate peanut butter with my childhood.  As an adult, I very rarely eat it, however when I find myself surly or sullen, I will scoop a spoonful right out of the jar into my mouth.  To me, I no longer savor the thick buttery flavour but, within a half-hour, my mood is lighter. I barely notice the transformation, unlike scent it is not instantaneous. It is more like taking an aspirin for a headache. After a few minutes, I notice that I feel better. It is as if my mind associates the taste of peanut butter with a calmer, less worrisome time and reverts back to then.

tastes like paradiseThis phenomenon can help set the tone for romance too. Do pina coladas taste like paradise or barbecue taste like summer or hot cider taste like Christmas? It doesn’t have to be your favourite flavour, it just needs to be a taste you associate with a pleasurable mood. Chicken noodle soap may comfort you and mint chocolate chip ice cream may leave you jubilant.
Not convinced? Consider tequila.  If even the thought of this murky liquid causes your stomach to roil that is because you probably had a drunken tequila night that ended badly. The brain remembers and has since rejected the taste of (and possibly the sound of the word) tequila. On the other hand, if you are grinning with the thought of licking, shooting and sucking…well, then cheers. But I would bet you know someone who would groan at the same thought.  
Still not convinced? One word.

Chocolate.

chocolate taste of arousal
taste chocolate
This heavenly creamy flavour has so many benefits and for the purpose of this article, it is commonly associated with childhood, holidays and love. No wonder women (and men) crave it and indulge in it because it holds the power to alter your mood. Better than any drug. 
Please practice moderation with the consumption of any mood altering substance.
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taste romantic

Before a night of romance, especially if the weather has taken its toll, put your subconscious taste buds to the test. Even if your plans include an evening of strawberries, wine, lobster and stuffed chicken; consider sneaking in an abstract appetizer or cocktail. It could boost your mood and widen the gates to the path of romance, seduction, and passion.  

This is an example of simple mind over matter. Allow your sense of taste to alter your mood to one of arousal.
I stash a tub of gummy bears in the car and a six pack of Corona in the fridge just in case on nights with the promise of romance.
Happy Romance.
Continue to the other senses…

Sight

Watch Yourself

sight, watch, senses, seduce yourself
sight watch yourself

I would like to shatter the manufactured shame associated with women’s natural curiosity to visually explore sex. If we were not socially conditioned to oppress our desires, then pornography and exotic dance clubs would not be so terribly unbalanced. Clearly, we are starved for it, hence the outrageous popularity of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘. Even then, we were resorted to reading; limiting our visual stimulation to the confines of our mind and imagination.

Why should we be embarrassed to look?

 

sight hide

Men, do it all the time? Yes, it is juvenile and primal, but if anything should allow us to tap into our youthful, savage selves it should be sex. The innocence to parade naked and experiment with our bodies is not only natural it is a tonne of fun when done freely and safely. These dated starchy attitudes and social dichotomies regarding sex are not likely to fall away anytime soon. I will tell you, that even if you dare to deny it, women are visual beings. We have just conditioned ourselves not to be, however.

Peeking behind the curtain is forbidden.  

Seeing what you normally cannot is insanely erotic, sensual and delicious.

The easy answer is to watch pornography. Not degrading, violent, ‘put it in my face’ porn, but soft porn that focuses on the beauty of joining bodies. Because this form or art is not easily found and time is of the essence, I would like to suggest a mirror. Not the plastered to the ceiling reflective glass, put in cheap hotels with mostly the male perspective in mind, but your ‘somewhere in your home’ mirror.

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Sight mirror

It needs to be at least picture size if not, of full length. Place the mirror near the bed or prop it against the couch if you intend to be on the floor. Open the drawers of your dresser to create a ledge at the perfect height. If you have two mirrors, even better.

Light candles. You will need some illumination to see and…

everything looks better by candle light.

Make certain that from your vantage point, you will get a clear view.

sight blindfold
sight blindfold

Are your cheeks red with the mere thought of this? Is that because the idea of your partner bearing witness to you watching makes you uncomfortable and insecure? Then blindfold them. They won’t mind.  In fact, you may just be fulfilling one of their secret fantasies. This will also give them the opportunity to really focus on their other senses. Encourage them to fully appreciate sound, touch, and scent.

hide your eye, sight, watch
sight ; hide your eye

Then, allow yourself to watch and really see. You just might capture mental snapshots that you can rely on in the future to heighten arousal, seduction, and release.