Liars!!!

Trump and Bush, I am sure that is a punchline to a joke right there. However, a few years back a recording of Billy Bush speaking to Donald Trump hit the headlines. You may recall, it was October 2016 and Donald Trump was caught making crude comments about women.

“And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab them by the pussy.”

Those were Trump’s words as Bush jeered him on. This, is old news. It comes up again now because my son has just started dating and he plays hockey. Trump had defended himself by saying that…

…it was guy talk, just locker room banter.

Personally, I dated my fair share of hockey players in my youth and it pains me still to consider the context my name was mentioned during ‘said’ locker room banter. There are countless teammates out there who know intimate details about my relationships. I know that when a girl’s name comes up within the confines of that smelly cinderblock room it is not favorable to her reputation. Her body type would be offered up as bits of entertainment followed by the length she is unwilling or willing to go to display her affections.

No doubt, she is unaware that she has been entered into some sex competition by a boy who claims to love her, but would never admit THAT in the locker room. This I know.

Let me be perfectly clear, I did not date the pigs. ‘This’ was how the ‘better boy’s’ behaved.

The stories I heard about the pigs I cannot bring myself to repeat. However, the betrayal I experienced was far reaching, well beyond the comprehension or shelf lives of my ex-boyfriends. I remember a night, long after my puck bunny days, when I met a boy at a bar. We really hit it off, or so I thought. It was not until the goodnight kiss on my porch did I realize that he knew me way better than I had thought.

Having knowledge of a long gone relationship of mine, his expectation was to get in on some of that. The date came to an abrupt end, but not before his intended angle bit in and left its mark. He did not go away quietly, to the point that I instantly regretted letting him drive me home, thus knowing where I lived.

After Trump’s comments had gone viral as did his locker room banter defense, a reporter went the dressing room of an NHL team that will remain nameless. The players denied locker room banter and were adamant that they had better things to talk about.

Bullshit! You bunch of pussies! You are so aware of how badly you behave that you can not even defend the (then) President of the United States!

The #metoo movement has men spinning as they consider all they ways they have objectified women in their past and pray to God that no one calls them out for it as they attempt to slither over to the right side of history.

Here is proof that locker room banter happens and how quickly mindsets have become out dated.

Consider the movie ‘Mystery Alaska.’

In 1999, Russel Crow starred in a hockey movie; one that I really enjoyed at the time. I could relate. Of course I could, I grew up in a hockey town. Within the main story line there is a threat; a misogynistic, incriminating little thread. A character appropriately named Skank; the town player brags about a sexual conquest in the locker room. Another teammate, Bobby, told his girlfriend what Skank said. She, in turn repeated it to the girl the comment had been about. Rightfully pissed off, she hit Skank over the head with a shovel when he showed up on her doorstep for the inevitable booty call.

The punishment for this violation of trust was to skate ass first into a snowbank wearing only skates, helmet, and jock. The offender, Bobby. Because he repeated something said in the confines of the locker room breaking some sacred code where boys can behave like utter jack-assess in common company.

Moral of this story – boys enable, encourage, and embrace bad boy behavior. Or they used to. Only they can change that by rejecting it. Hopefully, we are able to raise better men who have the power and courage to change the topics of locker room banter.

‘Mystery Alaska’ is just one of hundreds of movies made in the last 30 years that highlights the now outdated attitudes towards gender. This is to only address the mistreatment of women. Don’t get me started on the full spectrum of equality as it relates to the LGBTQ community, race relations, economic divisiveness, representation of the disabled, and any group that is marginalized in any way.

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