The dream was beautiful.
Bright ribbons of colour strewn across a warm summer sky. Singing birds and open flowers thrived beneath a shining sun with an endless horizon of emerald grass. Until, a pin prick of black pierced the scene and swelled into a gaping hole. All colour drained and in its place she heard her name.
Disappointment and loss ravished her awoke. The sound of her name scratching at the night had the distinct irritation of a word repeated.
There in the shadowed corner of her room, Ashley could make out parts of her sister’s face. Eyes found her and had dug her from her dream while lips that refused to whisper spoke again.
“Ash! You awake?”
There was no fake sleeping, Debra would just persist. Ashley did not want another pillow or stuffed animal hurled at her bed so she turned to her older sister. Two or three times a week, Debra would wake from her nightmares afraid, sad, or sometimes just lonely. So she would need her little sister.
Blankets rustled and the mattress squeaked as Debra made room for Ashley. There was no question the five year old would oblige. To fill the role of life sized teddy bear, Ashley crossed the dark room. Rumpled and dishevelled, she did not complain nor refuse. She just slipped into Debra’s bed. It was her duty after all as a good sister, she supposed or at least that was what Debra had told her.
The stink of her sister’s breath was hot on Ashley’s cheek as the bigger girl clung to her, but she was too tired to care. Soon Debra would be asleep. She would thrash, kick, and punch but not before twisting around all of the covers into a heap within her depraved embrace. There were no corners of sheet or pieces of loose quilt to tug free to keep Ashley warm. Instead, she did not move. It was too soon. Shivering and claiming her sliver of the mattress, she knew to wait for the unmistakable change in Debra’s breathing as a sign that she could return to the safety of her own bed.
By the time that happened, all fragments of sleep were gone. The pretty ribbons of colour had faded and her dream was lost to the night. Cold and uncomfortable, Ashley was awake and alone in the dark.
After all, what right did she have to slumber when Debra couldn’t sleep?