Thirty something someday syndrome

Thirty-something someday syndrome


Thirty is the new twenty! Who has not heard this, especially if the big 3-0 is on the horizon or if you careened by it in the last fifteen years?  Either way, this growing delusional trend allows us to prolong maturing, postpone responsibility and provides us with an excuse to remain noncommittal about life decisions.


‘It is a welcome suspension of time and a 30 pound load of crap!’

When I first started dating my now husband, I asked him, “When do you see yourself as a dad?” At the ripe age of 33, his answer was, “Maybe in 3 to 5 years.”  Easy for him to say, but that is another blog.

So, I bided my time. A few years later, I managed to obtain some rock solid commitment in the form of a diamond but not a date. Then, I waited and asked again. “When do you see yourself being a father?” What was his answer? Brace yourself. “Oh, I don’t know. In 3 to 5 years.”

I reminded him that he gave me that same answer 3 years ago. Did that mean he meant within the next 24 months? Or did the last 36 months not count?  It’s not that I was in a hurry to have a baby.  I was growing increasingly frustrated with…

“the wide spread aloofness among today’s young adults.”

Sadly, this is a group of which I was a member. This new relaxed attitude that time no longer matters irked the planner within me. It is what I started referring to as

…Thirty Something Someday Syndrome.

young adults suffer from thirty something someday syndrome
young adults


It is the right to put off big decisions and continue floundering around like an experienced teenager indefinitely. And to some extent, there are a lot of benefits.

  • Don’t rush to get out of school; Once you start working you will be working the rest of your life and you are less likely to return to class if you take a break.
  • Hold off from marrying your high school sweetheart. If you are meant to be you then you will still be together in 5 years. If not, you won’t have to be the ugly half of that divorce statistic and save yourself a boat load of legal fees and heartache.
  • Travel before settling down. You don’t need money to see the world, you need youth and imagination.

These cautionary words that encourage the delay of life altering choices are sound and make sense… for people under thirty.

30 something someday syndrome
Thirty something someday syndrome – suspended time

To those, over thirty, who have used this advice as…

“a crutch to dodge having to make big decisions and put off growing up”

…that need to listen up.

Now, I have yet to figure out how one develops a case of Thirty Something Someday Syndrome.    It could be based solely on an acute juvenile immaturity that lingers like a drunken buzz from your twenties.  It could also be a genuine unawareness of age based expectations. If the latter is true, then maybe it was instilled within

Thirty something someday syndrome
Thirty something someday syndrome

us by our parents whom perhaps felt rushed to become adults by being thrown into careers, marriage or parenting in their early twenties.  Unfortunately, by not setting some age related goals, ideals and responsibility they have (in some cases) stunted the growth of their own children. The fact that the number of thirty something children still living in their parent’s basement is on the increase kind of proves this point.

Gone are the days that one is expected to get married right out of high school.   The term ‘cougar’ has replaced ‘spinster’ and a new mom at forty is more common than one at twenty-two.  This is progress. Approaching forty without having to make one major decision in your life is not cutting edge independence – you are simply dragging your feet.

Do you suffer from Thirty Something Someday Syndrome?

Thirty something someday syndrome - time is slipping
Thirty something someday syndrome – time is slipping


If so, time to move out, put a ring on it or start shopping for strollers. Do whatever it is that you are afraid of doing and maybe, you might just become a real life adult. Cease the day! Or, before you know if you will be closer to fifty than thirty and life will have passed you by.

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