Tag Archives: taste

Sounds Good

Sex, Drugs, and Working Moms: Sexy Senses 

Ladies, your body will deceive you. If pornography happens to offend, or even repulse you, the bitter truth is that your body will react to it involuntarily. This is within moderation, of course. If something is violent or disgusting, your ethical and moral compass will reject it, but if it is just bodies on bodies doing what natural human bodies were meant to do, you will become visually stimulated and physically aroused. Like it or not. We are, after-all, animals, and there is no greater reminder of this than the act of sex. The point is, you may be surprised by your body’s response to specific stimuli, to which you have no control over.

If you happen to be someone who is uncomfortable watching porn but still considers yourself a sexual being who is looking to spice up your intimacy without having to go all ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ you have come to the right place. There are ways to use your own senses to tap into your true erotic self. Sight is just one of the five senses. Many of the others are often overlooked, but are just as effective by means of seduction, stimulation, and reaching full sensory ecstasy. 

Some senses have a duality. There is the act of giving and receiving. This is an important point to keep in mind. Sound for instance, not only is it erotic to hear the sounds of pleasure coming from your partner but it can be just as arousing making the noises and hearing yourself. Have you ever set out to fake an orgasm because you were too tired or too preoccupied to become too invested and then unexpectedly had one? My guess is that in your efforts to convince your partner of your participation and help them along, you inadvertently turned yourself on. What if you set out to do just that from the beginning?

Moms in particular, regardless if you are working or a domestic GM, tend to suppress their pleasure potential by measuring or silencing the sounds of passion for fear of little ears listening. This I understand and sympathize with. With the kids down the hall or just on the other side of the wall, not only do you try to be quiet, you have your hearing is on high alert for any sound beyond the bedroom door. This intense distraction is the primary obstacle in the way of your much needed, much deserved full body release.  I urge you to find a way, place, or time to let yourself explore sound.  You may not need to be loud, but you need the freedom to determine what volume is key to awaken your inner sex goddess.  And we are talking about a few minutes. Again, you don’t need a partner. Have ‘them’ take the kids to the park or to gramma’s house. It is important that you reserve this time for yourself on a regular basis.  And if you still cannot quiet the stream of thoughts when you are alone, this is where I would suggest a vice.  I prefer cannabis, for a multitude of reasons and have an entire episode dedicated to this explanation.

On planned moments of romance, we often consider having something playing in the background. We put on our favorite collection of love songs or call upon the sounds of the babbling brook to engage our sense of sound as part of the ritual of seduction.

There is far more to sound than background noise when it comes to sex. Noises that we often try to mute or mask for fear that others will hear. Sex is noisy. It is physically exerting and should have the natural soundtrack to match the level of play and effort. And I am not just referring to heavy breathing. 

 

Sounds of sex are natural. Don’t suppress sighs of pleasure, groans of wanting, or moans of exhilaration. Instead, let go and allow your hot panting to escalate into speaking your secret desires

Sounds Good

Sound Dirty
Self-seduce with sound

How to sound dirty or talk dirty without feeling dirty.

Talking or sounding dirty does not have to be crude or graphic. It is quite simply the combination of words and their timing. Just saying things that are swirling in your mind could bring your pleasure to a whole new level. Your body will react.

talk dirty, sound dirt, seduce yourself using senses, sound
sound dirty

The thrill of saying things never before dared on your tongue, hearing the delicious sounds pass your lips and the response you will surely get from your partner, is too exhilarating not to try.

For the hesitant, blushing first-timers, I suggest you begin when your lips are close to your partner’s ear. That way, they can be whispered. If this is completely out of character for you, what you say does not have to sound as though you are suffering from Trouette’s sydrome. You could just moan. I kid you not. Making pleasurable sounds, just loud enough for you and your partner to hear, while cuddling and caressing will heighten arousal.

Many women will admit that…

…the act of faking an orgasm has itself triggered climax.

Why do you think that is? Because…

erotic sounds, especially your own erotic sounds, are stimulating.

Your body reacts to your own sounds and your partner’s response, whether audible or physical. When your body responds, it seeks pleasure. You will thrive and rock with a willingness to explore and be explored.

As the passion intensifies, so can your sounds. Describe what you like. Not in novel form, just a statement here and there. If the idea of speaking body parts makes you recoil, then don’t say them. Refer to them by ‘you’re’ and ‘I’m.’ Stick to adjectives. ‘You are so hard and smooth.’ See, you could be describing his back or arms. “Your touch drives me crazy.” Or, “I’m so hot for you.”

sex, sounds, seduce yourself, use your senses
Sounds of Sex

These words should not be forced; just close your eyes and breathe them.

It is that simple. Nothing I have suggested is too risky.

It took me a long time to say extremely dirty things. The first time I did, my husband reacted so viscerally that I sent him over the edge before I had even warmed up. This only led to a very welcome ‘twice in one night’.

Good luck. Have fun and happy Valentine’s Day.

If what I have recommended is still outside of your comfort zone, consider reading erotica. To yourself is fine, and it may inspire your imagination to grab hold of things you are comfortable saying. But reading it aloud, to or with your partner, brings seduction to a whole new level.

I have an example of erotica tucked away on my website. Find it print out. It is one of our favorites. The pages are in an envelope marked Taxes in my husband’s night stand. Often, he reads it to me. Rarely do we make it all the way through before, well, you know. Or you will soon enough.  

Ok, warning, it is cut to hard core. There is no pre amble it starts immediately. This is what I consider full blown smut. It is an example of how words, especially when said aloud, or heard can be arousing. Please do so in the privacy of your own home, alone or in the company of a willing partner.  

Have fun.  

That concludes ‘Sounds ,’ from the Sex, Drugs, & Working Moms series. Thanks for listening. I’m MLE. Stay tuned next week as I continue self-seduction using your senses. In the meantime, be sure to get yours.

 

Continue to the other senses…

Scent

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Scent to Seduce

The Unassuming Sense

Many of our memories have a smell.  

It is a powerful sense that can trigger nostalgia or even déjà vu. I once told that if I wore a certain perfume on a romantic getaway or my honeymoon, then I could return to that memory easily later just by wearing that scent. I tried this. It worked, but I have since realized that specific smells are more difficult to place than generic ones. The cotton vanilla fragrance I put on while in Punta Cana five years ago doesn’t have nearly the effect that my suntan lotion has.

Last winter, I ran was out of body moisturiser and applied the aftersun lotion I use in the summer. Instantly, I was taken back to a time of sun and heat. On another occasion, I changed my shampoo. I had not realized that it was the brand I used when my husband and I first dated until he buried his nose in my hair and gave me ‘that look.’

Do not underestimate the power of scent.

Use it to your benefit.

While getting ready for a romantic evening, perhaps dab on that perfume at the back of the shelf collecting dust. Or ditch the perfume and rub on baby oil or suntan lotion. Close your eyes and breathe in its scent. Where does your mind take you? A place? A time? If you are reminded of fun, youth and freedom, you have found your scent for the night. Don’t overdo it by putting on too much or by applying it too often. It will lose its effect.

Whenever I smell aerosol hairspray, I am reminded of my early twenties and going out dancing. I feel like an episode of Sex and the City and I am instantly in the mood for a little fun. My husband is more than happy to hitch a ride on that little buzz of nostalgia.

Self-seduce with scent

While getting ready for a romantic evening, perhaps dab on that perfume at the back of the shelf collecting dust. Or ditch the perfume and rub on baby oil or suntan lotion. Close your eyes and breathe in its scent. Where does your mind take you? A place? A time? If you are reminded of fun, youth, and freedom, you have found your scent for the night. Don’t overdo it by putting on too much or by applying it too often. It will lose its effect.

Whenever I smell aerosol hairspray, I am reminded of my early twenties and going out dancing. I feel like an episode of Sex and the City and I am instantly in the mood for a little fun. My husband is more than happy to hitch a ride on that little buzz of nostalgia.

What I am saying is that smell is the unassuming sense that is easily forgotten until someone is cooking fish. Then see how quickly it is able to cripple a romantic mood. If used correctly, you can enhance your own arousal by tapping into past romantic moments to create new ones.

What did your first apartment smell like? Did you use pot-pourri, incense or candles? Did you use to wear baby oil, body spray or fruit-scented shampoo? It is that simple.

There are smells that turn you on. Find them.

Consider the most erotic time of your life. When you feel sexy, sensual and aroused. What did it smell like?

Beware of this power. Unpleasant odours can just as easily have an adverse effect.    

Many nights I do respect his slumber and my need for efficiency and go it alone. I still rely on my sense of smell to heighten the experience. That same perfume, lotion, or candle works for my party of one and sometimes it is my hubby’s shirt on the top of the hamper. Ladies, do not be afraid of taking a scarf or handkerchief into the department store to spritz in with your favorite cologne or fragrance. I bet that old flame that served well carnally smelled great.  There is no need to put that scent to waste, tap into it without the drama or commitment. Get lost in the power of scent to heighten your pleasure and reach the ultimate climax.  Organs are best when they engage all your senses.  

Self- Seduction: Chapters Coming Soon!!

Taste

The mouth is very sensual.

Taste
Taste can alter mood
A soft tongue hides behind luscious lips and slick pearly whites. Our mouths are essential to the art of seduction and lovemaking. Kisses, after-all are at the heart of all human affection.  

Beyond the physical.

There are two types of taste.

Taste
Self-seduce with taste

The first is the most recognized. It is why cooking can also be an art of seduction. Having exquisite flavours burst in your mouth is one of life’s most enjoyable sensations. Food itself can be an aphrodisiac.

I want to focus on the second type; the subconsciousness of taste. Just as scent has the power to trigger nostalgia,  

taste has the little-known power to alter mood.

Spoonful of Nostalgia
Tastes fun

I associate peanut butter with my childhood. As an adult, I very rarely eat it. However, when I find myself surly or sullen, I will scoop a spoonful right out of the jar into my mouth. To me, I no longer savour the thick buttery flavour but, within a half-hour, my mood is lighter. I barely notice the transformation; unlike scent, it is not instantaneous. It is more like taking an aspirin for a headache. After a few minutes, I notice that I feel better. It is as if my mind associates the taste of peanut butter with a calmer, less worrisome time and reverts to them.

Taste
Taste Nostalgia

This phenomenon can help set the tone for romance, too. Do pina coladas taste like paradise, barbecue taste like summer or hot cider taste like Christmas? It doesn’t have to be your favourite flavour; it just needs to be a taste you associate with a pleasurable mood. Chicken noodle soup may comfort you, and mint chocolate chip ice cream may leave you jubilant.

Not convinced? Consider tequila. If even the thought of this murky liquid causes your stomach to roil, that is because you probably had a drunken tequila night that ended badly. The brain remembers and has since rejected the taste of (and possibly the sound of the word) tequila. On the other hand, if you are grinning with the thought of licking, shooting, and sucking…well, then cheers. But I would bet you know someone who would groan or gag at the same thought.  
Still not convinced? One word.

Chocolate.

Taste sexy
Self-Seduce with taste

This heavenly creamy flavour has so many benefits and, for the purpose of this article, it is commonly associated with childhood, holidays and love. No wonder women (and men) crave it and indulge in it because it holds the power to alter your mood. Better than any drug. 

Please practice moderation in the consumption of any mood-altering substance.
Fruit
Tastes like childhood

Before a night of romance, especially if the weather has taken its toll, put your subconscious taste buds to the test. Even if your plans include an evening of strawberries, wine, lobster and stuffed chicken; consider sneaking in an abstract appetizer or cocktail. It could boost your mood and widen the gates to the path of romance, seduction, and passion.  

This is an example of simple mind over matter. Allow your sense of taste to alter your mood to one of arousal.
I stash a tub of gummy bears in the car and a six-pack of Corona in the fridge just in case we happen upon a night with the unexpected promise of romance. I trust in the flavours to nudge my mood to ensure my ultimate pleasure.
Happy Romance.
Continue with the other senses…

1 – Sounds Dirty – Talk Dirty

2- Scent – The Unassuming Sense

3- Touch and Be Touched (coming soon)

4 -Sight – Watch Yourself (coming soon)

Sight

Watch Yourself

sight, watch, senses, seduce yourself
sight watch yourself

I would like to shatter the manufactured shame associated with women’s natural curiosity to visually explore sex. If we were not socially conditioned to oppress our desires, then pornography and exotic dance clubs would not be so terribly unbalanced. Clearly, we are starved for it, hence the outrageous popularity of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘. Even then, we were resorted to reading; limiting our visual stimulation to the confines of our mind and imagination.

Why should we be embarrassed to look?

 

sight hide

Men, do it all the time? Yes, it is juvenile and primal, but if anything should allow us to tap into our youthful, savage selves it should be sex. The innocence to parade naked and experiment with our bodies is not only natural it is a tonne of fun when done freely and safely. These dated starchy attitudes and social dichotomies regarding sex are not likely to fall away anytime soon. I will tell you, that even if you dare to deny it, women are visual beings. We have just conditioned ourselves not to be, however.

Peeking behind the curtain is forbidden.  

Seeing what you normally cannot is insanely erotic, sensual and delicious.

The easy answer is to watch pornography. Not degrading, violent, ‘put it in my face’ porn, but soft porn that focuses on the beauty of joining bodies. Because this form or art is not easily found and time is of the essence, I would like to suggest a mirror. Not the plastered to the ceiling reflective glass, put in cheap hotels with mostly the male perspective in mind, but your ‘somewhere in your home’ mirror.

sight, see, watch, mirror,
Sight mirror

It needs to be at least picture size if not, of full length. Place the mirror near the bed or prop it against the couch if you intend to be on the floor. Open the drawers of your dresser to create a ledge at the perfect height. If you have two mirrors, even better.

Light candles. You will need some illumination to see and…

everything looks better by candle light.

Make certain that from your vantage point, you will get a clear view.

sight blindfold
sight blindfold

Are your cheeks red with the mere thought of this? Is that because the idea of your partner bearing witness to you watching makes you uncomfortable and insecure? Then blindfold them. They won’t mind.  In fact, you may just be fulfilling one of their secret fantasies. This will also give them the opportunity to really focus on their other senses. Encourage them to fully appreciate sound, touch, and scent.

hide your eye, sight, watch
sight ; hide your eye

Then, allow yourself to watch and really see. You just might capture mental snapshots that you can rely on in the future to heighten arousal, seduction, and release.  

Need some inspiration or courage? Find it in the second part of The Round on my website.  A steamy bit of erotica where Scarlet and Joel pick up right where they left off: standing in front of a mirrored pillar in the empty nightclub after hours.  Part one was an exercise for sounding good while being bad.  The second part focuses on the visuals and helps guide you to what you may not dare to see. The key is ‘sight’.

Watching is not limited to needing a partner. I encourage women to seduce themselves in front of a mirror. Find a comfortable private place, use candle light, maybe even scented candles, play music, and put volume to your natural sounds of pleasure. Your mission is to engage all of your senses as you watch yourself touch, be touched, and explore. Don’t hold back. Breath, moan, include your mouth by biting your lips working your tongue. Fall in love with your body and the simple pleasure it provides for you by you. Celebrate your singular seduction and ecstasy.